Gai sensei Nightmare
by Videx
Summary: what is Gai worst nightmare? do you really want know? then you have to read this, or not...finally complete!
1. The beginning

Hi! This is my first fic, but that doesn't mean that I can't take any flames, its only a good thing… And by the way, I do not own Naruto… ´´…´´ talking 

´…´ thoughts

Gai sensei Nightmare 

It was a beautiful morning, the sky was blue, children was having fun with each other, the birds sang, and everybody seemed to be happy, to bad that it couldn't last forever.

Walking down the streets, Gai looked forward to see his students, well most Lee. Since they promised that the next time they saw each other they would be a lot stronger.

-- At another place --

A boy with closed eyes was starting to get a headache, because his to teammates was yelling at each other, about what, he really didn't care.

´´ Gai sensei is the best! ´´ yelled Lee.

´´Oh come on Lee, he is an idiot! ´´ screamed Tenten.

´´No he's not! ´´

´´ Yes he is! ´´

As they continued, Neji couldn't take it anymore.

´´ Shut up! Damn it! I'm getting a headache! ´´

With tears in his eyes Lee started, ´´ but she just insulted Gai sensei! ´

´´And the problem is?´´

´´That Gai sensei is the best! ´´

´ Not again…! ´ thought Tenten.

´´Lee...´´ said Tenten calm.

´´ He is the best. ´´

´´ Lee… ´´ she said calm, but if you listen carefully you could hear that she was getting a little frustrated.

´´The best! ´´

´´Lee! ´´

´´The… aw, Tenten that hurt´´ he said while robbing his head.

´´ Really…? ´´ She said with a smirk

´Why God, why did you put me these two…! ´

-- Back to Gai --

´ Today is going to be a nice day, with many missions, and a lot of happy faces, and when I'm going to see Hatake Kakashi face when I beat him! ´

-- Gai´s fantasy --

After a hard battle, for Kakashi, he fell to his knees looked up at Gai and said: ´you truly are the best! ´

´ Yes I am, and remember that! ´ He said proudly.

And did his ´nice guy pose´ and you could hear a pling when he smiled.

Then Kakashi stood up, looked Gai in the eye and said: Where did you buy that spandex?

´ Oh this, well I got it at the ´SpanColour´ (me: sorry, couldn't find a better name.)

And soon Neji came and asked: What about your hair?

´My hair, well, my mom cuts it´.

And soon everybody came, and asked Gai about where he bought his clothes and what shampoo he used and etc.

-- End of fantasy –

A big smile came to his face, as he thought about it. But unfortunately he was so deep in his fantasy that he didn't notice the tree he was about to hit.

´´ Hey mister, look out for that tr… ´´

It was already too late…

--- Continue---

OMG OMG OMG, a cliffhanger!

But I already know what's going to happen… muhahahahahahahaha…

Tell me what you think about it, and then maybe, I will continue…

And if you have any ideas, just tell me! Or what it needed, so I know it till the next time.


	2. Found you

Hi! First of all, I want to say thanks to all them who had reviewed or will…

And second, if there is something you don't like, or hate just say it, I could learn from it.

And third, if you have any ideas, I would like to know.

By the way, it's the same thing from the last chapter.

* * *

**Found you sensei**

* * *

´´Oh my, is he all right? ´´ asked an old lady, ´´ maybe he is dead! ´´ said a little boy with fear.

´´ I don't think so…´´ said another lady.

And soon many more people had gather around to see what was going on.

--Back to the team—

´´Aw, it still hurt Tenten, you didn't have to hit that hard…´´

´´Take it like a man Lee! ´´

Tears started to gather in his eyes.

´´Come on Lee, I didn't hit you that hard…´´

´´But still…´´ he then gave her a sad face, (you know, that look, that makes you feel guilty, even though the person deserved it)

Neji started to massage his temples, his headache was getting worse, he then rose from his spot under the tree to get away from the others.

´´Hey, where are you going Neji? ´´ asked Tenten.

´Think, think…´ he started to panic, ´´um, to the toilet… but I will be back soon (me: Yeah right!)

´´Then I'm coming with you! ´´ said Lee.

´DAMN! ´ he screamed in his mind, ´´ Lee, ´´ he started calm, but that didn't last long, ´´ I'm 13, I don't any need help! ´´ And with that sentence finished he turned his back and began to walk away from them.

Lee looked back at Tenten, whose eyes said ´idiot´ as she shocked her head.

There was an odd silence between them, but Tenten soon broke it, by saying, ´´Do you think he will come back…? ´´

´´Not really…´´

-- Neji –

´Finally free, but I wonder what takes Gai so long, should I walk by his house… ´

He then stood silent for about 3 minutes, should he or should he not…

´Nah… he is probably on his way…´

But soon he realized that he was going the same way as Gai house where.

´I'm already there, so why should I turn around and go back? ´

´´Sigh…´´

As he came closer he saw a crowd of people, what they where looking at, he didn't know.

´´Excuse me, ´´ he asked a man, ´´ what is it kid? ´´ ´ who are calling kid, you… ´ ´´ what is it people are looking at…? ´´

He then looked over his shoulder, looked back at Neji and said, ´´ some man with big, no I huge eyebrows! ´´

´ What have he done now? ´ ´´ Excuse me´´ he said again trying to get pass the people, ´´ but that's my teacher, so would you please make some space…´´

´´Well, sure´´ ´´Of course´´

He carefully lifted his sensei's arm over his shoulder, luckily his house weren't so far away.

But unfortunately he was a little heavy…

´Damn you, when you wake, I swear to God I'm gonna kill you´

-- Lee and Tenten ---

´´ I wonder what Neji is doing… do you have any ideas Lee…? ´´

´´No, why do you ask…´´

´´I don't know…´´

Another silence came over them…

´´ Oh my GOD! Gai sensei is late! ´´

´´And the problem is…? ´´ said Tenten not really caring about it…

´´What should we do! ´´

´´Wait for him…´´

´´What if someone attacked him! ´´

Tenten looked back at Lee, ´´ What…! Oh my god, we have save to him! ´´

´´Lee… he is a Jounin, don't you think he take care of him self! ´´

´´ Oh my god! I'm so sorry Gai sensei, that I didn't trust your amazing powers! ´´

´´ Idiot…´´

* * *

Sorry, sorry, I know this one was really boring.

But have you seen what time it is?

Oh well, you know what to do, until then…


	3. Want to play a game

**Hi! Well it's finally here! Chapter 3! And I don't know what I was thinking when Iwrote this…**

**But you know what to do at the end**

**And I do not hate Lee or Tenten**

**

* * *

****The game**

* * *

"Sigh…" it came from Lee, who almost fell asleep, "Lee…" "What…?" he said looking up at her 

"Lets play a game!" Tenten said with grin, ´She is up to something, I just know that! ´

"Come on it'll be fun!" " What kind of game " he said trying to get away, it was going to be bad.

´Oh no, not that game! ´ He then stood up looked down Tenten with a serious face, and said. " Yes, there will be blood…"

She just looked at him, opened her mouth to say something then shut it, trying to say something again but still nothing came out.

When she still didn't replied to what he said, she just crossed her arms over her chest, and looking the other way, trying to come up with something.

"Ha! I knew it! You psychopath, did you think I would fall that easily for your plan! But unfortunately for you! I've already seen that movie! One point to Lee, zero to Tenten!"

She slowly turned her head, and whispered, "What did you just call me!"

´Oh my God! What have I done! I just pissed Tenten off! ´

When she didn't still didn't got any answer, she whispered again, but a louder this time, "What did you just call me!"

´Okay, just walk… slowly… slowly… and no matter what, don't look her in the eye…´ he kept thinking as he was trying to get away from her.

"Lee! Answer me for crying out loud! What did you just call me?"

Now he really was scared, he threw himself down at her feet, and started to hug her leg, while he kept on saying: I'msosorryTentenI'msosorryI'msosorry...

"Sigh…" ´Now it wasn't even funny anymore…´

"Hey Lee! You can let go of my leg now…" she said annoyed.

He looked up at her, with tears falling from his eyes, "sure…"

But when he was about to stand up, she kicked him right in his balls (Me: Poor Lee…)

His face went pale, "Aww…" Was the only thing that escaped his mouth before he hit the ground.

" That can maybe learn you not to call me a psychopath again!"

"Aww… It hurts! Damn you Tenten! That's was unfair! Aww…"

He said rolling from side to side covering his, (Me: I think you get the picture now…..)

After several minutes with, Lee's complaining and Tenten's "Then you shouldn't have called me a psychopath", he just realized something.

"You bitch! Why did you kick me in the balls, if you knew I called you a psychopath?"

´Oh shit, come on Tenten, an idea, an idea….! ´

"Well, the answer is very simple Lee. Have you ever seen the movie 'American Pie'?"

"Stupid slut, what has the movie to do with that you kicked me in the balls!"

She kicked him again… (Me… I'm so sorry Lee)

"Aww, the pain, the pain! Damn you! I feel like my youth is leaving me!"

"Then don't interrupt me!"

"The pain!"

And even more minutes went by; with Lee's complaining and Tenten's "Then you shouldn't have called me a slut".

Then she took a deep breath and started again, "Anyway, there is a part in the movie when the main character gets laid, right, and the girl keeps screaming ´what's my name?´, and he doesn't answer her, ´what's my name bitch´ then he says… actually I don't remember her name… but do you get the point now?"

"What has that to do with the point that you kicked me in the balls?"

"I don't know, maybe it was because you called me a psychopath!"

He stood up walked past her and soon came back again with a stick.

"What are you going to do with that stick?" she asked, apparently curious.

"I'm going to draw a line, between you and me, you stay on your side, and I'll do the same!"

She looked at him while he was drawing the line, and asked, "What will stop me, if I don't?"

Lee looked choked, "The power of youth will stop you!" and did his nice guy pose.

"Fine then, I don't care…"

As they both sat down, Lee started to stare at Tenten.

At first, she tried to ignore it, but then it was too much, "Why do you keep staring at me!"

"Yes… there will be blood"

"Idiot…" she whispered under breath.

And there they sat, without saying a word to each other.

"Do you want play a game?" asked Tenten with grin.

"Yes… there will be blood!"

* * *

**Well, that was quite long…**

**And by the way, if you have seen Saw 2, then you will understand the meaning of, yes… there will be blood.**

**But if you have any ideas, then tell me.**

**And another thing, could you please come with some reason for why to hate Gai or love him?**

**But anyway, thank you**

**Until till then**


	4. Drugs!

**Hi! Well since the last chapter was only about Lee and Tenten, I thought that this one should only be about Neji and Gai.**

**But you know what to do at the end.**

**

* * *

****Drugs?**

* * *

'Finally!' Neji thought as he reached Gai sensei house.

He kicked the door, and laid him on the couch, and went into the kitchen trying to make some tea. But when he opened the cupboard something felt out, he picked it up to get a closer look.

It was apparently some white powder in a bag.

"What the…?" He said aloud, then he searched the whole kitchen to see if he could find some more or maybe something related to it. And of course he did, some of it were pills others were powder, "That youthful junkie! I knew it!"

Soon he searched the whole house, and he just found even more.

He looked down at the sensei, 'I wonder if he have given Lee some…'

Then he heard a knock at the front door; he went to opened it and saw two guys whom apparently were high, very high. "Wow!" said one of them and blinking a couple of times, "I think I took to much this time!" He just looked at them, then slammed the door in their face, 'It had nothing to do with all the drugs I've just found'

Then there were another knock on the door, he then went and opened it just a little and asked, "What do you want?" The two guys looked at each other with a confused look, then they looked at Neji, and one of the guys asked; " Aren't this Maito Gai´s house?" He slammed the door once again, "That wasn't the question…"

And once again there was another knock on the door, "Damn it!" "What do want?" he asked angrily, the two looked at each other then at Neji, then the other guy said lazy; We are here to deliver some drugs to Gai…"

And showed Neji a whole bag of marijuana it. He looked at it with big eyes, then at the guys, and slowly asked; where do you know Gai from?"

"We are his good old junkie friends."

"Junkie friends…?"

"Yeah man! Junkie friends!"

Neji just shook his head, "just give me the bag, and get of here…"

"Yeah sure…" they said, gave him the bag and walked away.

He then closed the door, threw the bag at Gai, and went out to the kitchen to make some tea.

It was going to take some time, so he decides that maybe he could wake Gai up and get an explanation.

He stared down at him, lifted his hand, and started to slap him in the face. After a couple of minutes with some slapping, he decided to stop since it wasn't working.

'What now?' he thought (Me: Well you could always throw some cold water…) 'Thank you' he thought with a smile.

And out of nowhere he got a bucket of cold water, and threw it at him.

'Thanks for nothing!' he thought angrily.

(Me: Don't worry, he'll wake up…) 'Are you sure…?' (Me: Of course I am!)

Then 3 minutes went by, as he stood there looking down at his sensei, 'You said that he'd wake up…' (Me: and…?) 'He hasn't…' (Me: What about the tea…)

"Lazy writer…" he muttered under his breath, (Me: I heard that!) So he went into the kitchen, pour him self a cup of tea, and took a small sip, but of course the tea was to hot so he got his tongue burned. (Me: muhahahahahahahaha cougcough ahem hahahahahahah)

He then shot a death glare at me, and started to shake his fist while saying: You just got yourself an enemy!" (Me: I'm the writer, what can you do?) He looked down at the floor crossing his arms and tried to come up with something.

Then he looked up with a evil smirk, and said: I could always leave…" (Me: How? I'm the writer, I can even make you to take some marijuana…) "You wouldn't dare to!" (Me: Oh really, and where do you know that from?) "Well," he started crossing his arms, "I've heard that I'm one of your favourite persons from Naruto…"

(Me: Shut up…)

So, after the little chat he had with the writer (Me) he continued to drink his tea, but then, an idea came to his mind.

He stood up, took some of the drugs and went into the back yard. He laid it down on the ground, took out his lighter (Me: I don't where he got it) and started to burn it all.

"Burn baby, burn! Muhahahahahahahaha!" By the way, he had of course removed all the pot and marijuana.

Smoke filled the air, and soon came into the house. Gai slowly opened his eyes and noticed all the smoke, "What the hell…" he then heard someone yelling "Burn baby, Burn" 'that sounded like Neji…' he thought.

"But what is he doing here?" so he of course went out side, and saw his precious drugs being burned. His eyes almost fell out of his head, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed,

"Neji, what have you done, my drugs…" he said, almost crying. Neji just turned his head to see Gai, crossing his arms he looked down at him, who apparently were on his knees.

"Why Neji, why?" He sounded like someone from a soap opera, who just found out that her boyfriend slept with her sister.

"What about given me an explanation?" he replied angrily, "But I needed it!" but instead he got hit in the face, "Are people just deaf or something?" he yelled frustrated.

So there they stood, while Gai was complaining over the pain and Neji yelling at me, because he thought that I just should end this stupid chapter.

But after they were done yelling, they instead were in the living room. Sitting across each other,

"Are you now going to give me an explanation?" Neji asked serious. Gai just gave a nod.

* * *

**Yeah, yeah, I know, bad timing…**

**Then you'll just have to read the next chapter, if you want know why Gai take drugs…**

**Until then…**


	5. Let the game begin

**Hi! I'm sorry, it's been quite some time, but like my teacher would say; Drop the excuses and begin already!**

**But first I would to thank Desolatedking and the anon. for the reasons why to hate and love Gai**

**But you know what to do at the end**

* * *

**Let the game begin**

* * *

"Is that a yes or no?" Tenten asked confused, he really didn't want to play her stupid game, cause he had seen in many movies when they were playing games, some of them got killed. 

He shuddered by the thought.

So he had two choices, get killed by a game, or get killed by boredom, either way, it was not going to be fun.

"Well, what do you say?"

He took a deep breath, 'here goes nothing', "Yes, but what kind of game is it?" he was definitely going to regret it.

Tenten started to smile, Lee felled relieved, maybe it was not going to be that bad, but then her smile changed and looked kind of evil, only God knew what ran trough her mind.

"I don't have a name for the game, but the rules are very simple."

Isn't that what the bad guy says, 'the rules are very simple' but it some how always turns to be the opposite.

"Are you even listening to me? Great, now I have start over, you are supposed to find reasons why to not hate Gai sensei, and I am supposed to find reasons why to hate him. And it can't get any simpler then that."

That sounded pretty easy but… "What happens if you lose?" he asked carefully.

"Ha! That's the best part; the winner then has to find out what the loser shall do for a whole year! And it can be anything you want!"

"Anything" he repeated just to be sure, "yes Lee, anything" " anything…?" then he got hit in the face, "pervert!" she yelled angrily.

"But you just said anything you wanted", "that doesn't mean literally anything!" she said with her face flushed, to think that Lee was that kind of guy.

"Then why did you say anything? Couldn't you've just say, almost anything?" She didn't bother to explain, thinking maybe this wasn't a good idea, but they had to somehow kill time.

"So…" she started "shall I begin, since you don't have any questions…" "Why not, ladies first" then he got hit in the face again.

"The pain!" he yelled, she didn't say anything just kept on looking at him, "are you done…?" he looked at her, "no…" he gritted through his teeth, "then hurry up already!".

"But why did you hit me?" he couldn't see what he had done wrong, he just agreed with her starting, nothing more nothing less.

"That doesn't work on me!" you should be deaf if you couldn't hear that she was pissed off, "But what did I do?" he started to panic, what in the world had he done wrong.

"You said yes to I should start" "that, isn't a reason you should hit me, and by the way, you've said it yourself that you wanted to start".

Women, maybe Shikamaru were right, they were to troublesome, no matter what you said, it didn't seemed to satisfied them, or what you did, so all you could was nod and say: yes dear.

But all guys are different; some would die for them, other kill for them, some would say yes other no, they were all different.

And so were women.

It was best if he just let her begin without saying anything.

"He is noisy..." she started "you're wrong…" "What do you mean by I'm wrong?" "That's the sound of youth, and that my friend is not noise".

"Its your turn" it was not worth it starting an argument, "he is very good at tai jutsu!" he said proud, "I can't say no to that…" she would have been lying, if she said that was wrong.

"His hair and eyebrows" he blinked a couple of times, "what about it" "just look at it!" "The problem is?" "He gets his hair cut by his 'youthful' mother" (Me: no offence to those who get their hair cut by their mothers)

"Tenten, have you've seen his mother, she is pretty youthful when you think about how old she is."

"Anyway, it stills count" she said determined, she definitely didn't want to lose, only God knew what he had planned for her.

"He is a great sensei!" "Hmm, sometimes he is, but not when he won't take no for an answer, and do you know how annoying that is! I mean, for Gods sake, he is 27 but acts like one about 4 or 7!"

"That is the springtime of youth!" "I wonder when it'll be winter…." She said with a smile, it was kinda funny, no matter what time of the year it was; it always was the springtime of youth.

"He is a powerful shinobi" "who wont stop talking about Kakashi or the 'springtime of youth and so on!" "How dare you insult…" "Its your turn…" she interrupted, he could go on about it for hours, so it was for the best.

"Well, he is a great friend" "I wouldn't know about that, since I don't hang around him that much" "Yeah that's true".

She knew it was her turn, but she couldn't find a reason to not love him, of course there were times he acted like a big baby with a very bad haircut, and others times he was a great sensei with a very bad haircut.

"He's a slave driver" "what do you mean by, 'he's a slave driver?"

One angry glance from her made him move away from her, 'yes, there will be blood' why did he say yes?

"He wakes us up sometimes about 4 am, to train, just because he wants us to beat team 7, so he can prove, that his students are more youthful than Kakashi's!" "He only wish the best for us!" Lee protested.

"Okay, shall we continue…" he asked with a smile, she looked a little bit pissed, but then her face softened, 'weird…' he thought.

"He is trustworthy" "I don't know him that much, but he do seem trustworthy" "So, do you still think he is a slave driver?" "Yes".

"You don't have to be that cruel" "I can always get crueller, by saying, he has a very bad taste for clothes".

Tears were falling from his eyes, and he started to sob quietly, "don't cry Lee, I didn't mean like that…" but he didn't stop, so she moved over to him, and hugged him, while saying "its only a game".

But what she didn't knew was that he were smiling, 'girls are so easy, well some of them are'.

"Tenten, please… let go…" "Why?" "I… can't… breath…"

"Oh, poor thing, there there, I'm here" she said with an evil smile. Don't worry; she did let go before anything serious happened.

"Are you done?" she asked, "just a sec…" so a couple of seconds went by, while Lee was trying to catch his breath.

"He's a caring guy who will never try to choke his own students" "But when they are bad, he hit them" "and say that he is sorry, and it were for their own good".

"He can sometimes overreact" "because he cares for us" " its your turn…"

"Never gives up!" "That's true… and he is still trying to make Neji and me wear the green spandex…"

Then he got nosebleed, "Lee, whats the matter?" she asked concerned, it was best if she didn't found out that what ran trough his mind.

"Nothing, nothing is wrong," he said quickly using he's sleeve to remove the blood.

"His nice guy pose…"

He didn't say anything, just sat there and looking at her.

"You take it pretty well Lee…"

He just gave a nod; no emotions were shown in his eyes, but she didn't say anything.

And in the next second, he was back to himself, only God knew what he thought for a second ago.

"What do you want me to do…?" he knew when he was defeated, but he didn't had any regrets, he fought well.

So she leaned over and whispered in his ear…. His eyes got wide, "no, I can't do that Tenten!" "Tsk tsk Lee, you knew what happened if you lost, now you have to pay" and started to laugh like a crazy.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**

* * *

**

**This time, I will not make you wait that long…**

**But until then**


	6. Raining men

**Enjoy…**

**

* * *

****Raining men!**

* * *

"For your sake, let it be a good one…" 

He felt his heart pump harder and faster minute by minute, and started to breath heavily, he was going to die, if he didn't get anything in the next minute.

"Excuse me, I'll be back in a second" he said with a forced smile, and rushed out to the bathroom.

Neji just leaned back in the sofa waiting; he knew what his sensei was going after, to bad it wasn't in there, he thought and chuckled.

In the bathroom Gai started to panic, he couldn't find it anyway, "Oh God no…" he was starting to shake little, he had to find it, before it was too late.

"Neji!" he yelled, maybe he knew where it was, but if he didn't, he could always use byakugan, "Neji!"

"What?" "I need your help!" He had no choice, but to go out and see what was wrong. "For God's sake, he is 27, and needs help in the bathroom" he muttered under his breath.

He knocked carefully on the door, "Neji!" he yelled out, and was prepared to hug his saver, instead he got hit the face.

"Idiot…" he panted, "you nearly gave me a heart attack! Who the hell, jumps out from the bathroom screaming!" (Me: it's not fun when someone does that!)

"Me… and sometimes Lee, and maybe the girls" "What do you want?" "My drugs…" he whispered, "I burned it…"

"Neji…. I need my drugs!" he said with a serious voice, "Its in the kitchen" and before Neji could say drugs, Gai was already gone.

When he saw all his drugs, he thought this is heaven. But what should he start to take? He scratched his head, damn it was hard.

"What about ecstasy…?" Neji asked, Gai looked at him, "Hmm… that was a good idea, but go, let me have some privacy" so he pushed him out and locked the door.

Soon Neji could hear him laugh, then it was quiet, 'I wonder if he's dead', but then there were some music, and it sounded like 'its raining men'.

Neji just couldn't miss this, so he ran to the window with a video camera, just wait till the others saw this. But he couldn't believe his own eyes, his own sensei, were wearing a blonde wig, a pink raincoat and a matching umbrella.

_Humidity is rising_, he started _Barometer's getting low_  
_According to our sources  
The street's the place to go!_

_Cause' tonight for the first time_, no wonder why he was a shinobi and not a singer  
_Just about half past ten, half past ten_, he sang with a girly voice  
_For the first time in history  
It's gonna start raining men, start raining men_

_It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen _

_It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen _

_Humidity is rising_, he sang slowly while taking his raincoat off in a NON-sexy way  
Neji had to cover his eyes, its was getting quite disgusting, "Eww…"

_Barometer's getting low  
According to our sources  
The street's the place to go!_

_Cause' tonight for the first time_  
_Just about half past ten, half past ten_, Neji shivered, that girly voice was definitely going to haunt him  
_For the first time in history  
It's gonna start raining men, start raining men_

_It's raining men  
Hallelujah  
It's raining men  
Amen _

I'm gonna go out  
I'm gonna let myself get  
Absolutely soaking wet

Once again Neji had to cover his eyes "Eww…"

It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Every special men

Tall blonde dark and lean  
Rough and tough and strong and mean

"I wonder if he's gay…."

_God bless Mother Nature  
She's a single woman too  
She took over heaven  
And she did what she had to do_

_She fought every Angel  
To rearranged the sky  
So that each and every woman  
Could find the perfect guy  
_  
_It's raining men  
_  
He was already starting to plan the party, but he needed help from his team mates, it was going to be big!

_Don't get yourself weather girls  
I know you want to_

_I feel stormy weather moving in  
About to begin, about to begin  
Hear the thunder  
Don't you loose your head  
Rip off the roof and stay in bed  
Rip off the roof and stay_

_It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen_

Neji couldn't help, but sang along, it was a good song.

_It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen_

_It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen_

_It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen_

_It's raining men  
It's raining men  
It's raining men_

This could maybe teach him to get some curtains in his kitchen, so he went inside, and start down on the coach, and waited, but when Gai came, he started to laugh.

"That's the spirit my youthful student!" he said and did his nice guy pose.

He definitely saw his sensei in another light, but that's no wonder, and soon, all the other ninjas will too.

--- Lee and Tenten ---

"Ow, it hurts Tenten!" "Then stop moving!" "You said the pain would disappear after a couple of minutes" "Well, I lied!"

--- Back to Gai and Neji ---

"So are you now going to give me an explanation?"

Gai gave a nod, "You see it all began, did you hear that?" "Hear what?" Neji asked confused, "Do you want some tea?" "No, but thank you…" "What about sake?" "I aren't allowed to drink…"

There was an awkward silence, "just go, if you need it that bad!" "Thank you Neji!"

He was sure that he wouldn't get an explanation, but then he heard a knock at the door, and since Gai was too busy to open, he just hoped that it wasn't his junkie friends.

But instead, it was Tenten, and apparently Kakashi who was 18.9 cm shorter (Me: I don't know what's that in foot and inch)

He didn't know what to say, he was surprised, Tenten nudged 'Kakashi', and whispered; "do it" he took a deep breath, and pulled Neji by the shoulders to give him a kiss.

He was shocked; his body didn't moved, he knew he should push him away, but his body wouldn't react to what he said.

'Kakashi' felt Tenten poke him in the ribs, he knew what that meant, 'forgive me Neji' he thought sadly, as his hand followed his spine, as it went lower he felt disgusted, he definitely needed a shower when he came home, even though it only was his hand that touched him.

'Is that what I think it is!' Neji thought with horror, when he was about to protest, he felt something exploring his mouth, that's when something inside of him snapped.

"Hakke Rokujyuu Yonshou!" he yelled out, and he showed no mercy, after he beat the crap out of 'Kakashi', he started to spite, hopeing that the hideous taste will disappear, "Eww! A Kakashi looking guy just kissed me! Eww that's so gross!" (Me: I know, I made him sound like a girl)

And the so called Kakashi also started spite, "Eww! I just kissed Neji!" (Me: I know, he recovered fast!)

Then Tenten looked at some paper, where she crossed Neji name over, "that's number one, it wasn't that bad Lee! You should see yourself as lucky! I mean, how many people get the chance to kiss Neji and grab his ass?"

"I think I'm going to throw up" Neji said covering his mouth and rushed out to the bathroom, then Tenten looked back at 'Kakashi', "next time do it with passion!"

"Passion my youthful ass, that's easy for you to say!" she just smirked, "I know, I just did it"

While in the bathroom, he still couldn't believe Lee kissed him! Eww… so he threw up again, anything that'll make the disgusting taste he had in mouth disappear, and he'll make sure that nobody found out about this!

And Gai was still in the kitchen taking drugs, (Me: no wonder why he acts like that…)

"But Tenten, how am I suppose to do this a whole year?" "Did you really think that you only should kiss Neji? Heh, this is just the begging, I was thinking, after you got through the list, you'll just have to start over!"

"But I could always just kiss one guy at month…" "Oh no you couldn't, I expect you do twice a week!" "And what if I don't do it?" "I'll just tell all the girls…"

His eyes got wide that would destroy his reputation, plus it was to embarrassing. Sigh… there were nothing that he could do, his life was in the hands of some crazy girl.

When Neji came out, he was really pissed but at the same time he felt disgusted, "don't come near me…" he whispered looking directly at Lee.

Lee only gave a nod.

"But why are you dressed up like Kakashi?" he asked confused, "it was Tenten's idea…" Lee said looking at the ground, he then turned his head in Tenten's direction, "why is he dressed up like Kakashi?"

"I want to see Gai sensei's reaction when he sees that his 'youthful' student, has turned his back against him, and going to worship Kakashi and only Kakashi!"

"That doesn't explain why he has to dress up like him…."

"He looks like Gai sensei, and I know, that's natural, but wait till he sees that his 'youthful' eyebrows are gone!" "So you did absolutely everything to him, just so he could look like Kakashi?"

"Yes Neji, and just by plucking his eyebrows, he looks way cuter now then before. And do you know how much time I spent plucking them!"

"It was hell Neji, I'd gather fight against 100 Gaara's, then let her pluck my eyebrows again!"

"I must say, you did a good job, I thought it was Kakashi, who was shorter then usual…"

"But where is Gai sensei?" "In the kitchen, which remains me, I have something to show you guys…"

So he found his video camera, took out the DVD (Me: I don't know if that is possible…) and put in the DVD thing (Me: Sorry, can't remember the name….) and pushed play.

"But I must warn you, it will get disgusting… no seriously…" but they just looked at him, what could possible be that disgusting since he said it with a serious voice.

Soon they could hear the begging of its raining men, Tenten and Lee looked horrified at Neji, "I know, blonde hair, forget about it…" so they turned their head back to the screen.

When they reached the part where Gai took off his raincoat, in a NON-sexy way, both Tenten and Lee said; Eww! That's just nasty!

But Neji knew when that part came, so he had already covered his eyes, "I know…."

So from that point on, Tenten had covered her eyes, but she till saw through her fingers, and Lee was holding a pillow while rocking himself.

"I warned you…"

_I'm gonna go out  
I'm gonna let myself get  
Absolutely soaking wet_

"Its all a dream, that didn't happen…" Tenten tried to convince herself.

When the film ended, Tenten immediately asked Neji why, "wait till the others saw this…" was the only answer they got.

"Oh shit…" he rose from his spot in the couch and rushed to the kitchen, Tenten and Lee followed him. Then he suddenly just stopped in the doorway, they looked over his shoulder to find Gai in the corner hugging his knees while rocking himself with red eyes.

"Gai sensei!" they all rushed to his side, "are you okay sensei?" Tenten asked concerned, "what happened to you sensei? I swear when I find the person who did this, they shall suffer!" "How much did you take" came it from Neji.

**

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**Okay, I've just had some white wine, and decided to stop here, before I write**

**something bad, and no! I'm not an alcoholic!**

**I just happen to like white wine…**

**And by the way, tomorrow, from my point of view, I'm going on a little vacation for 2 weeks, so there will be NO updates…**

**But don't worry, I'll think of something…**

**Until then…**


	7. lost manners and pink shinobi

**Hi, I'm back, blah blah blah**

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Enjoy Lost manners, and pink shinobi

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"Are you okay sensei?" Tenten asked concerned, "who did this to you Gai sensei! I promise, I'm gonna kill the person who did this to you!" it came from Lee who then right away started to plan his revenge, "how much did you take?" it came from Neji, which earned him a look from his teammates. But still, their sensei didn't answer them, just start there rocking himself.

They all three stood up looking down at their sensei, and wondering, what should they do, "I don't like this, maybe we should go to Tsunade sama…" Tenten said, sounding a little afraid, "it's not that serious, don't worry, soon he'll get better" it came from Neji, as he ended his sentence Gai suddenly fell to his left side (Me: doesn't matter which side he fells on….) Tenten gave Neji an angry look, "what?".

"Okay, calm down…." Tenten said and taking a deep breath, "breath in and out, slowly, in out" and moving her hands in circles, "screw it, I'm going to the toilet…" so she turned her back and walked away, "you'll find nothing in there!" Neji yelled after her, "why, have you taken it all?" Lee asked, which earned him a punch in the face.

Then all of a sudden, a little trail of blood came out from Gas's mouth, "do you still think it's not serious…" Lee asked still looking at his sensei.

And before Neji could answer, "Oh my God!" Tenten yelled interrupting him, "why the hell are you guys just standing there!" but they just looked at her then back at Gai and scratched their head, well Lee did.

"Okay calm down, I've seen this before" he started and sounding like nothing was wrong, "and that should calm us down!" she yelled, (again) "where are your manners? Now, where was I…? Oh yeah, Neji" he pointed at him, "you are suppose to say; calm down nobody is going to find out that we killed our own sensei" "we didn't kill him, and, he's not dead" Neji said rather bluntly, "manners!" he gritted through his teeth, "anyway, you Tenten" now pointing at her "is going to reply to what he said, by yelling and" "what am I suppose to say Lee?" (Me: no wonder this is called lost manners…) but he decided to let it pass, this time, "shut up, shut up, we just killed our own sensei!" he said in a girly voice, "but we didn't…." it came again from Neji, "manners!" "This isn't a movie Lee…" Tenten said, "Where the hell are your manners!"

"Byakugan, okay, the cost is clear," after some talk about taking Gai to Tsunade or not, it seemed that time was running out for him, so they needed to hurry, but Tenten still demeaned that they'll make sure that nobody found out about this, because it was to embarrassing.

"What are we going to say?" Tenten asked while they rushed to the Hokage, "the truth…" it came from Neji, "and that is?" "Our sensei is a junkie" "Gai sensei is not a junkie!" even though Lee looked like Kakashi, that didn't mean, that he wasn't going to defend him. "And what will people then think of us?" Tenten continued, "that the best tai jutsu team just killed their own sensei…" it came from Lee, "we didn't kill him, and he's not dead!" Neji said, "manners!" Lee gritted through his teeth, "I didn't interrupt you!" he snapped back at him, but Tenten just shock her head, 'boys' she thought sadly.

They didn't have time to knock, so they burst through the doors, "what the?" it came behind from the desk, "Tsunade sama, we need your help!" Tenten said while running up to her desk, "and who are 'we'?" she asked, "that would be us" it came behind Tenten, "ah Neji, but are you involved in their problem Kakashi?" she asked, "I'm not Kakashi," he answered.

"We'll, or she will explain that later" looking at Tenten "just save the junkie…" Neji said, "Fine then, Shizune" the Hokage called, "ready" she answered.

They were showed in to a waiting room, so all three genins sat down quietly on the sofa. The whole time they were silent, which Neji was of course glad for, but Lee wasn't glad, who knew if his sensei survived, then it hit him, one person, one single person, knew it, "don't count on it" it came from Neji, "what do you mean?" Lee asked confused, "just trust me, but you'll need a lot of prayers if you want him to survive…" instead of calming him down, he just got him more freaked out, but then again, who said he was trying to calm him down?

"Now will you tell me what's going on?" "Tsunade sama!" they all rushed to her, hoping that their sensei had survived, "don't worry, he just need some rest, now what the hell happened?" "The answers you are looking for, are on this DVD" "Neji, no, put that back!" Tenten said, "What exactly is it?" Tsunade asked the three genins, "I warn you, it may get disgusting" Neji said, "no seriously!" Lee and Tenten said in choir.

They all made them comfortable in the sofa, waiting for the film to begin, soon the music began, and Tsunade nightmare had just begun.

After the film ended Tsunade and Shizune were scarred for life, but they still found it funny, and laughed, and so did the genins.

"Is there anything else?" the Hokage asked, "well, there is one thing…." Neji said.

After Neji told the Hokage about his plan, which she agreed on, the shinobi's got busy, cause she had order them to set up big plasmas TV's (Me: you know, the one from the chuunin exam….) Of course that made people curious, but when they asked the shinobi's why they were doing this, they couldn't give a better answer then; orders from the Hokage, but some people or one person absolutely needed to know why.

"Baa-chan!" She knew it would come sooner or later to ask about the big screens, "you'll just have to wait and see" she didn't look up at him but continued her work, "but I can't wait!" and to think that he one day were going to be Hokage, "to bad" she said still not looking up, "you're mean…" he sounded like a little child and acted like one, when he sat down on the floor and crossed his arms "I know…" still not looking up but continued her work.

It didn't take long for the shinobi's to set up the big screens, so soon people knew, that they'd get an explanation. "Are you ready Tsunade sama?" Shizune asked, "Yes, yes…" "Finally!" Naruto yelled and started to jump up and down, "why haven't you left my office?" she asked him, "cause I wanted to know why!" man he was stubborn, "if you want to know why, then ask Neji" and before they knew it, he was already gone.

Naruto ran through Konoha to find Neji, until he noticed that Shizune was on the big screen, so of course he stopped immediately, "sorry to bother, but some of you may wonder why there is big screens around in Konoha, but don't worry, for information, just ask either me or Tsunade sama, anyway, hit it Tsunade sama".

Then in the next moment Tsunade was on and music;

_Humidity is rising_,

_Barometer's getting low_  
_According to our sources  
The street's the place to go!_

_Cause' tonight for the first time _

_Just about half past ten, half past ten_,  
_For the first time in history_

Then suddenly the music stopped, and Tsunade ended with a "don't worry, we'll also show it tomorrow, since some of you work really early in the morning and so on".

Only this, left people more curious then before.

"Neji!" Naruto yelled as soon as he saw him, "I feel a headache coming back," he said while rubbing his temples, as Naruto came closer he yelled even louder, since Neji didn't paid him any attention, so when he did reached him he was exhausted, "Neji," he panted, "what?" he said looking at him, "were is Tenten and Lee?" he asked still trying to caught his breath, "let me see, Tenten went home because she thought it was to embarrassing and Lee, well I'm not sure" Naruto blinked a couple of times, "okay… second, why is there is big screens in Konoha?" "Wait and see" he was about to go when he felt Naruto's hand on his shoulder, "but I can't!" "That's not my problem, now go, you're giving me a headache".

"You didn't mean that, did you?" he didn't answer him, "well did you?" Naruto kept on asking, "I feel really sorry for Sasuke and Sakura" so slowly he walked away with his hands in his pockets, leaving Naruto behind.

(Me: yes, I'm lazy, so therefore I'm not going to write what they did in the mean time, but I'll say that it's about 20 minutes over ten, okay? Good)

All the people in Konoha were excited, well except for the small ones, since it was way over their bedtime, but that didn't matter, cause tomorrow they'll show it again.

Somewhere a blonde boy again ran through Konoha to find Neji, "Neji!" he yelled, "have you seen Neji?" he asked some lady, "I saw him at the ramen bar but I'm…" "Thanks!" he yelled, since he already were on his way.

The Lady was right, he was at the ramen bar, and so were Tenten and Kakashi!

"What the hell are you doing here?" He yelled pointing a finger at him, "is this the reason why you always are late!" "What does it look like, idiot" he said and continued to eat his food, "you bastard! I've been looking everywhere for you" "I thought you looked for Neji…" Tenten interrupted, "where are your manners?" then Kakashi stood up, "you've lost some height sensei" Naruto said with a grin, "listen" he started, "Oh my God! Your voice what happened?" "Screw it, I'm going home" so he turned his back and walked away, "you can run but you can't hide Kakashi sensei!" Naruto yelled after him, "I'm not Kakashi!" he yelled back, Naruto then looked back at Neji and Tenten with a puzzled look, "Kakashi is a Jounin, and you say that he can't hide…" Tenten said, "Neji, what is going to happen?" he asked, he couldn't wait even though there were four minutes left.

"Do you have a bad memory or something? I said wait and see" "but I can't!" "For Pete's sake, there is less then four minutes!" "I know!" "Then shut up!" Tenten interrupted, "where are your manners Tenten! You should not interrupt when someone are talking!"

Then suddenly they heard Tsunade voice, "I know you have been waiting, and are excited to see what's going to happen, but I warn you, it will get disgusting, anyway, enjoy!"

"Finally!" Naruto said, then music began, "come on, hurry up," he said while pulling the two genins by their writs, it was better if they just got it over with, so they went with him, even though they've already seen, it was kinda still funny.

Most of the people in Konoha, said "Oh my God!" when the film started.

When the film ended most of the people said eww, others were to shocked to say anything, and Naruto seemed to be one of them. "Are you okay?" Tenten asked him, and when Neji was about to say something, Tenten silenced him with a finger, "what?" he asked confused, "look at him..." he then looked at Naruto, like she told him to, his eye were twitching, and suddenly he started to laugh, the people around them stared at him, and soon every single person, who had seen the movie, laugh like crazy.

Naruto had broken the ice, they all laughed so hard, that the medical nins had a very busy night.

The next morning Gai left the hospital, when he stepped outside, people stared at him, and tried their best not to laugh, so quickly they disappeared. Weird, he thought.

On his way home he met Naruto, whom also tried his best not to laugh, but he couldn't do it forever, so he laughed.

Once again, it had looked liked that Naruto broke the ice, Gai couldn't see what was so funny, or a reason for them to laugh. Until, he walked past the video store, were a film was out, it was the pink shinobi, then he noticed, it was him.

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**…**


	8. the wake up

**Final chapter, thank you everybody who have read this story, put it in fav. And the list goes on, I've never imagined it would be this long, but thank you**

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The wake up

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It was him, but he didn't understand how this happened, or who would do such a cruel thing, and for what reason? Then he notice a name, Neji Hyuga, maybe he should go and ask him.

But he still couldn't believe his own eyes, betrayed by his love ones, what had he done wrong?

"Long story, but in the end, I got money for it…." He said, he did it for money! "So you did it for money?" "No, it seemed like fun, and you looked to enjoy yourself" well he did had fun, but still.

Then Tenten and Lee showed up, "God morning my youthful students, and what the hell are you doing here Kakashi?" he asked, "I'm Lee…." No this couldn't be true, his favourite student, had gone against him, what had he done wrong?

He fell to his knees, and yelled; Damn you Kakashi!

His eyes flew open, he was shaking and covered in sweat, what a nightmare, but at least it was over, but he remembered to write down to buy some curtains, and hide his drugs a better place.

But somewhere in his clothes, a little cushion, smiled evilly, and turned off his tape recorder, and laughed quietly, then said, "this is isn't the end…."

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Finally! I'm done! So now, I'm going to do my victory dance!

**But when this idea came to me, I've never thought it would be this long, but thank you for supporting me, but the original idea was to make Lee dress out like Kakashi…**

**Anyway the nightmare, is actually spread around the chapters… Heh….**

**Remember, this was my first try!**


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